Tracks of the StoneBear Copyright MCMLXIII Uncle Hargus ALL Rights reserved
ROF= Ring of fire Odyssey MEF-H = Marine Expeditionary Force- Hargus
SQL= Squirrel Journey #26
April 4, 2017
The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent, and the stupid.
*******
Often things don't make sense in this crazy mixed up world.
First thing you know there's innocent kidding and horsing around. Then it escalates to grab ass. Sometimes things get out of hand and a line is crossed into the dark side...
... and a squirrel is killed. That's where I come in. My name is Sgt Hargus; I carry a badge.
Welcome to Squirrel Beat.
**********
It was Tuesday 9:34am. Me and my partner, Officer MooseDude were working out of vice division when the call came in. The report was a squirrel down on Hwy 25; that meant Isbelltown. We got a motor pool squad car and arrived on the scene at 10:21pm and went to work.
Officer MooseDude: Looks like a hit and run; the same MO of the Norman Drive case last month. Something doesn't add up.
Sgt Hargus: ?What are you suggesting?
MooseDude: Not suggesting anything Hargus. Just making an observation. Don't get your ass chapped.
Sgt Hargus: Just the Facts. Your saying that this was not an ordinary hit and run? You're saying this squirrel was killed and moved to here by the tree? I concur!
MooseDude: ?How did you arrive at your conclusion?
Sgt Hargus: Because here is the sledge hammer that was used to beat the victim to death. Car didn't run over him. Looks like our worst fears have come true; We've got a serial squirrel killer on the loose.
MooseDude: ?What do you make of the initials "J S" welded on the hammer?
Sgt Hargus: The owners initials. Wanted to make sure another workman didn't take his hammer. Find the owner of this sledge hammer and we've got our killer. Check with records for any priors with the initials "J S", You know,... Jack Shit, Joe Spane, ... could be the lead we're looking for.
MooseDude; Got it. I'm on it.
Sgt Hargus: One thing is for certain.
MooseDude: ?Whats that?
Sgt Hargus: This squirrel won't be crossing any more streets anytime soon.
MooseDude: Looks like he's at the end of the road.
Sgt Hargus: He bought the farm.
MooseDude: He kicked the bucket.
Sgt Hargus: He's on that Highway to Heaven.
MooseDude: He's crossed the bridge.
Sgt Hargus: His clock got cleaned.
MooseDude: Cleaned his greens.
Sgt Hargus: Strike three called.
MooseDude: He's cleared for takeoff.
Sgt Hargus: He got the call.
MooseDude: The bells toll for him.
Sgt Hargus: He wuz a runnin' good all day 'til _____.
MooseDude: His number came up.
Sgt Hargus: He didn't make it.
MooseDude: He got T-boned by a maul.
Sgt Hargus: He's on deck.
MooseDude: He caught the "A" train.
Sgt Hargus: He's outta here.
MooseDude: He's pushin' up daises.
Sgt Hargus: He got his round trip ticket punched.
MooseDude: He's history.
Sgt Hargus: He's down for the count.
MooseDude: Alright, now the paperwork. And don't let it get personal.
You never drink twice from the same stream.
StoneBearTracks Copyright Uncle Hargus MCMLXIII ALL blog posts/photographs/video ALL Rights reserved
ALL Blog posts/photographs/video Copyright MCMLXIII ALL Rights Reserved
