ROF= Ring of fire Odyssey MEF-H = Marine Expeditionary Force- Hargus
AL= ALAbamajourney
October 13, 2017
SQL= Squirrel Journey
The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent, and the stupid.
*******
Often things don't make sense in this crazy mixed up world.
First thing you know there's innocent kidding and horsing around. Then it escalates to grab ass. Sometimes things get out of hand and a line is crossed into the dark side...
... and a squirrel is killed. That's where I come in. My name is Sgt Hargus; I carry a badge.
Welcome to Squirrel Beat.
It was Tuesday 9:39am. Me and my partner, Officer MooseDude were working out of vice squad when the call came in. The report was a squirrel down on Hwy 411north; that's near the Middle School. We got a motor pool squad cruiser and arrived on the scene at 10:01am and went to work.
Officer MooseDude: Looks like a hit and run; the same MO of the Norman Drive case last month. Something doesn't add up.
Sgt Hargus: ?What are you suggesting? ?What's your proof?
MooseDude: Not suggesting anything Hargus. Just making an observation. Don't get your ass chapped.
Sgt Hargus: Just the Facts. Don't get your panties up in a wad. ?Have you gone back to your thongs again? You're saying that this was not an ordinary hit and run? ?You're saying this squirrel was killed and moved to here in the grassy knoll? I don't concur!
MooseDude: ?How did you arrive at your conclusion?
Sgt Hargus: Because he run over by the Bass Boat right there. Truck pulling the Bass Boat didn't run over him or he'd be squished. He's still in one piece; Bass Boat got him. Looks like our worst fears have come true; We've got a squirrel hit and run driver on the loose.
MooseDude: ?What do you make of the walking stick?
Sgt Hargus: He was hiking, tried to cross the street. He beat the truck- misjudged- and didn't figure on a Bass Boat right behind the truck and he didn't make it. ...then he crawled over to the grassy knoll.
Run the Bass Boat registration.
MooseDude; Got it. I'm on it.
12:34pm MooseDude: Driver said he missed the squirrel; didn't even know the Bass Boat got him. ?Possible suicide?
Sgt Hargus: Maybe. One thing is for certain.
MooseDude: ?Whats that?
Sgt Hargus: This squirrel won't be crossing any more streets anytime soon.
MooseDude: Looks like he's at the end of the road.
Sgt Hargus: He bought the farm.
MooseDude: He kicked the bucket.
Sgt Hargus: He's on that Highway to Heaven.
MooseDude: He's crossed the bridge.
Sgt Hargus: His clock got cleaned.
MooseDude: Cleaned his greens.
Sgt Hargus: Strike three called.
MooseDude: He's cleared for takeoff.
Sgt Hargus: He got the call.
MooseDude: The bells toll for him.
Sgt Hargus: He wuz a runnin' good all day 'til _____.
MooseDude: His number came up.
Sgt Hargus: He didn't make it.
MooseDude: He got T-boned by a toyota.
Sgt Hargus: He's on deck.
MooseDude: He caught the "A" train.
Sgt Hargus: He's outta here.
MooseDude: He's pushin' up daises.
Sgt Hargus: He got his round trip ticket punched.
MooseDude: He's history.
Sgt Hargus: He's down for the count.
MooseDude: Alright,... Enough. Now get the paperwork started. And don't let it get personal.
Sgt Hargus: One thing is for sure.
MooseDude: ?What's that?
Sgt Hargus: He should have bought some Life Insurance.
You never drink twice from the same stream.
Just because you wander doesn't mean you're lost.
by Uncle Hargus: Last of the Independents
Have Bear,
Will Travel
StoneBearTracks Copyright Uncle Hargus MCMLXIII ALL blog posts/photographs/video "40 Acres and a Tomahawk" ALL Rights reserved
ALL Blog posts/photographs/video Copyright MCMLXIII ALL Rights Reserved
